I had to see whats up with this movie, and I knew that it will end up in a section movies so bad that they are good, and even that was a stretch. The story is so dumb, that it is indescribable, oh wait, it is describable: girl falls in love with a vampire and then other vampires try to kill her. Thats it folks, the script looks like it has been written by two fourteen year old girls while masturbating on some emo music. Now lets start a deeper analysis of the movie, if that is even possible. First of, the movie should have been titled The Stalker, because the main vampire dude stalks this girl, stares at her, only to tell her that they shouldn`t be friends! Then quit stalking me.

There are tone of close ups, and she is biting her lip, always looking like she is about to cum, and he is just standing still, slightly tilted forward looking semi-retarded. And whats with leeches for eyebrows with this vampire, they slapped some white stuff on him, used lipstick and stuck two leeches instead of eyebrows and you have a vampire now. Of course all the characters are one dimensional, so you got a gay trendy dude, teens with usual problems and all the others. And on the top of all the script failures they managed to make a new brand of vampires, vegetarian vampires. Jesus Zombie Christ, what a dumb idea, they are having trouble killing people, but they have no problem with killing other vampires, dismembering and burning them, i guess thats cool. And whats up with the lame effects, when he is running in the forest it looks like a Benny Hill show. Anyway this movie is worth a watch just to laugh your ass of, enjoy.

Director: Catherine Hardwicke

Cast: Kristen Stewart, Robert Pattinson, Billy Burke, Ashley Greene, Nikki Reed, Peter Facinelli

Rating:  

Fun Facts: Over 5,000 actors auditioned for the role of Edward.

http://www.imdb.com/title/tt1099212/