What do you get when take Indiana Jones, The Mummy, and Pirates of the Caribbean and mix them all together? Well, you guessed it, you get Jungle Cruise, a solid adventure movie with stunning visuals. And when I say stunning visuals, I really mean it. This movie is a true eye-candy and it’s worth seeing just for its special effects and appealing visual style. Considering that it’s based on a freaking Disneyland theme park ride, it really exceeded my expectations. You even have a bit of African Queen vibes what with the old boat, tough captain, and romance on the river.

You should also know that Jungle Cruise is also updated to all the latest standards when it comes to woke issues. Actually, it’s a pretty fun game to try, and guess what cliche is going to pop up next. And there’s a lot of them here. You can also play a fun game of taking a shot every time you guess something right. Although you might end up pretty drunk by the end of the movie. An end that’s pretty brutal at times for this type of casual adventure. I really don’t know how they managed to get away with a PG-13 rating considering a couple of pretty nasty and graphic scenes. Well, that’s Disney for ya. I also have a strong feeling that this movie might be the beginning of a new franchise.

It is the year of our lord Satan 1916 and Dr. Lily Houghton and her brother MacGregor are a couple of adventurists on a quest. They are looking for Lily’s Tears of the Moon, petals from a strange tree in the Amazon that can cure all illnesses. After being shut down by the crusty old farts at the Royal Society explorers, they take the matters into their own hands and head to Brazil. Their plan is to hire a boat captain to take them through the treacherous waters of the Amazon. However, things from here start to get really dangerous and complicated.

Out of all those three above-mentioned movies, I really can’t pick the most similar one. Perhaps Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull is the one but there are just so many other elements that I can’t say for sure. What I can say for sure is that Jungle Cruise is nothing like other movies about Lope de Aguirre, a ruthless Spanish conquistador. Although there are just two of them, Werner Herzog’s Aguirre, the Wrath of God stands out as an intriguing seventies oddity. Actually, I started watching it a couple of months ago and just couldn’t finish it. It’s quite raw and visceral but its very honest approach and immersive atmosphere just draw you to it. If, however, you’re looking for a more palatable adventure involving exploring societies, check out Missing Link

Finally, I don’t want to bore you with unnecessary details about Jungle Cruise. Mostly because I think you already know what to expect. I just wanted to add that the scale of things is not as grand as in most of the adventure movies. We will be following around ten main characters and that’s it. This doesn’t mean that the movie is less fun. It’s just that I don’t want you to go in there expecting some grand adventure like Pirates. It does, however, showcase the fuck out of beautiful Amazon. If you want to continue your night in the same fashion, check out two new Jumanji movies also starring The Rock. And to know what such a trip up the Amazon entails take a look at Jungle, based on true events. Enjoy.

Director: Jaume Collet-Serra

Writer: Michael Green, Glenn Ficarra, John Requa

Cast: Dwayne Johnson, Emily Blunt, Edgar Ramírez, Jack Whitehall, Jesse Plemons, Paul Giamatti, Quim Gutiérrez

Fun Facts: Many of the puns Frank uses are taken directly from the Disney Parks attraction. These “so bad they’re good” jokes are one of the reasons why Jungle Cruise skippers are so important to the ride experience.

Rating:

IMDb Link: https://www.imdb.com/title/tt0870154/

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