You Will Meet A Tall Dark Stranger 2010 Movie Scene Josh Brolin as Roy massaging Naomi Watts as Sally's foot by the river

You Will Meet a Tall Dark Stranger [2010]

I’ll tell you one thing, Woody Allen sure knows how to pick engaging titles for his movies. I remember just how much I wanted to see his movie Everything You Always Wanted to Know About Sex* (*But Were Afraid to Ask) when I was younger. The full title is quite impressive but even the short version packs quite a punch. Alas, when I did finally watch this movie it turned out to be a meandering mess. And I felt cheated by it. At least I did learn that you shouldn’t judge a movie by its title. Especially if the director is Woody Allen whom I detest.

I seem to be unable to stop rambling but I have to say one more thing and then I promise we will get to this movie. Both Woody Allen and Roman Polanski are accomplished directors with sex scandals behind them. The two cases are different and yet still feature men doing something they clearly shouldn’t. And yet, despite the severity of his offenses I somehow find Roman more likable than Woody who irritates me immensely. I use the term likeble in the broadest of senses as both of them are despicable and should be condemned for their actions.

I think I got it all out of me so let’s start talking about this movie finally. You Will Meet a Tall Dark Stranger is a romantic comedy exploring love, mid-life crisis, and marriage. The usual Woody Allen package. And with it comes a stellar cast led by Anthony Hopkins. We will follow two couples, one in their sixties and one in their forties. As you can probably guess everybody is trying to “find themselves” and they do so by “falling in love”. Fucking rich people, they view love, sex, and relationship through a totally different lens than others.

I’m going to skip the usual summary section as I don’t want to bother you with unnecessary details. The themes You Will Meet a Tall Dark Stranger explores seem to be timeless and yet if you’re younger than our “young couple” you’ll undoubtedly find them outdated. I have a feeling that Woody is still going on about things that were important for his generation and many that came after him. I mean, the man was born in 1935 and I guess we can draw the line at 1980. Today, we see marriage, relationships, love, sex, and religion slowly disintegrating and morphing into something else.

Something much more calibrated to actual human needs and wants and far away from the tribal system of values. And that system is responsible for all the conundrums we have to face today. Still, You Will Meet a Tall Dark Stranger has a certain charm and it also can serve as an intro into subversive thinking. A sort of revelation-light if you will. As such it will have a much wider reach and perhaps even influence. And the subject of sex and romantic relationships is something that will always be relevant.

I just wish the movie did a better job of wrapping up the stories of our lead characters. I’m not a big fan of this sort of movie, a romantic dramedy leaning more towards the comical side. And yet I decided to check this one out to see if anything changed. And that is despite my utter disgust with Woody. I guess I’m going through my Woody phase after seeing Vicky Cristina Barcelona. So, if I could do it I think you can do it too. Who knows maybe you’ll have some sort of breakthrough and change your life completely. And perhaps, just perhaps, you will meet a tall dark stranger. 

P.S. Is dark like dark-haired or it relates to the stranger’s personality? And if it’s related to the hair thing, can you still be dark if you’re bald? Wait, perhaps he meant the color of your skin? There are just too many questions here…

Director: Woody Allen

Writer: Woody Allen

Cast: Anthony Hopkins, Naomi Watts, Josh Brolin, Freida Pinto, Antonio Banderas, Ewen Bremner

Fun Facts: Woody says he was inspired to write the script by the concept of “having faith in something.” He goes on to say: “people who successfully delude themselves seem happier than the people who can’t.”


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