Is it, is it really? The third remake? Well, yes it is, Texas Chainsaw 3D is the third attempt to recreate Tobe Hooper’s masterpiece from 1974, directed by John Luessenhop (Lockdown, Takers). This movie was something that I refused to watch for a long time and the reasons for that are obvious. If they wanted to do a good sequel, remake, reboot or whatever the fuck are they calling these things, they should watch The Thing over and over again. The thing that made me wanna watch it was the fact that its producers after this movie got the rights for Day of The Dead remake and $20 million to make it. What was so fascinating about this movie? It made $40 million dollars as of march 2013, and that’s everything anyone needs to know. If you are wondering should you watch the first movie, you should, whether you wanna connect the dots or just enjoy, actually you could watch the first remake from 2003, although none of this is really necessary, since they explain everything in the beginning of the movie.
So after all the massacring in the first part, the Sawyer family finds themselves in quite a pickle. Their half-witted cousin Jed has done some terrible things, and the sheriff outside their house is demanding that they surrender him. As soon as they comply with that request, a lynch mob appears led by Burt Hartman and chaos ensues. The house is set on fire and every member of the Sawyer family killed. After the fire was put out, a bit farther from the house, a man finds a dying women with an infant in her arms. Flash forward forty years and we find Heather Miller, working in a super market, slicing meat. Just a normal girl her age, Heather knows nothing about the events that led to her receiving a letter about her true origins.
Alexandra Daddario, remember this name, because after this she will become famous with that perfect body and decent acting skills. Actually, one might argue that her body and portrayal of a girl struggling with her heritage saved this otherwise milking movie. The story was below average and so was the script with just enough nods to the original to market it properly. This is just another summer slasher, without any lasting value but without good slashers premiering this summer I guess it will have to do. It’s got enough gory scenes and brutal murders to interest the horror fans, and Alexandra is there to make things sexually interesting. I don’t know if it’s a good thing or not, but there’s no nudity in this movie, well, apart for some sideboobs towards the end, and since they were Alexandra’s this should be enough to open Texas Chainsaw movie night in this order: 2013, 1973 and finally 2003…
Director: John Luessenhop
Writers: Adam Marcus, Debra Sullivan, Kirsten Elms
Cast: Alexandra Daddario, Dan Yeager, Trey Songz, Scott Eastwood, Tania Raymonde, Thom Barry, Bill Moseley
Fun Facts: Gunnar Hansen, who portrayed Leatherface in the 1974 film, portrays a relative, Boss Sawyer, in the beginning of the film.