Rabbit Reviews

If you have seen the trailer for this movie, you do not need to see the rest of it. Practically every good scene, and by that I mean every good special effect, is seen in the trailer and the rest is just laughable. Starting with totally incoherent script, where god really does not care that much about anything (maybe he is on antidepressants, or weed(that would be cool(if he existed))), so he lets angels and humans do whatever they like and what happens, happens. After that, character development is pretty laughable with standard thug black man, rebel teen and all the other one dimensional characters. Shotguns are the weapon of choice, and a couple of random humans will defend the gas station against the hordes of angels. I mean come on, they could have at least tried to make this plausible by putting more effort in the barricades and the organization. But I guess, that all you have to do is to be present and everything will be fine. The overgrown chickens that are fighting in this flick somehow have bullet proof wings and their combat sequence is pretty short too. I do not want to go on, I will just say that the main guy is named Jeep. A fucking Jeep, ultimate redneck cataclysm, a teenage slut and a guy named Jeep are the only hope for humanity… Jesus Zombie Christ… Still you can enjoy trashing this movie as it goes, it will be especially funny if you imitate chickens during the fight sequences…

Director: Scott Stewart

Cast: Paul Bettany, Lucas Black, Tyrese Gibson, Adrianne Palicki, Charles S. Dutton, Kevin Durand, Dennis Quaid

http://www.imdb.com/title/tt1038686/

I thought that this movie would be much like Slither, but it turned out to be another relatively low budget horror flick with okay script and surprisingly good special effects. They are pretty graphic and squirmy, so that`s a major plus to the movie. But the rest is pretty mediocre, and I think that it had great potential, but somehow it slipped away from the film makers hands. Researching parasites to try to enhance the humans a group of scientist nearly made it, but a terrible accident froze their work. Now, a group of young people (why is it always the young, I think it would be very refreshing to see some old folks fighting with creatures from nightmares) revisits the island where those unfortunate experiments happened. As you are probably guessing something got loose and started infecting the visitors. Enjoy…

Director: Gabriel Cowan

Cast: Mircea Monroe, Christopher Shand, Brian Krause, Robert Pike Daniel, Ian Patrick Williams

Rating:  

http://www.imdb.com/title/tt1300159/

This movie was very disappointing, I was expecting more of gaming vibe from a movie called gamer. I think that the screenplay and the whole story was written by someone with no experience in gaming, or a casual gamer. I guess that was the target audience. The society part of the movie was really good and i liked it, if they used it more of it in the script the movie would be awesome, and of course the action sequences could resemble more of Call Of Duty series or something else, this way they were going for that console vibe. In the future video game players control real persons in the game called Slayers. But one man must break the chains and set himself free with the help of his human controller. Again, not the best flick, but still, good enough to kill an hour and a half… Enjoy.

PS If you have seen the following movies you might recognize their ideas and concepts in this one: The Matrix, Rollerball, The Condemned

Directors: Mark Neveldine, Brian Taylor

Cast: Gerard Butler, Amber Valletta, Michael C. Hall, Kyra Sedgwick, Logan Lerman

Rating:  

http://www.imdb.com/title/tt1034032/

Coming to us from the director of Banlieue 13, and with support of Luc Besson, this movie did not manage to be good. First of all, the thing that irritated me the most is the utter usage of the plot of the Training Day movie. We have an experienced veteran and  young apprentice that still needs to learn the ropes of the trade. They are both taking drugs, and are unconventional in their ways. This is not the actors fault and both Travolta and Rhys Meyers did their jobs flawlessly, but the rest of the staff fucked up big. This is just an okay movie that will entertain you, and after you have seen it, you will soon forget it. So to summarize the flick, this is Training Day bad copy with terrorists. Still there are decent amounts of action, and jokes that make this movie worth watching, enjoy…

PS The same director is involved in production of the new version of Dune, finally the story will watered down, and there will be a lot of jumping and shooting, since this is the essence of the novel (NOT)

Director: Pierre Morel

Cast: John Travolta, Jonathan Rhys Meyers, Kasia Smutniak, Amber Rose Revah, Eric Godon

Rating:  

http://www.imdb.com/title/tt1179034/

So we are starting a new category, Fantasy Films of the 80s, and of course we are starting with Flash Gordon. Flash oooohhhoooo, after you have seen the movie this will be clear. Anywhoo, I do not know why, but during the eighties, studios were fascinated by grand, bigger than life, movies with big sets, and state of the art special effects. I am guessing this is due to the success of the Star Wars, but who knows? During this time, they produced a bunch of this relaxing movies, that are very interesting and funny to watch. Flash Gordon is based on a comic, and there has been many movies since 1930, trying to capture the adventures of Flash on cinema. This one is the most successful one, with De Laurentis company backing it up with a lot of money. So an American football player is accidentally sent to a distant planet Mongo, where they will have to fight to save the rest of the humanity from the tyrant Ming that plans to destroy the Earth. Sam Jones(Flash Gordon) was nominated for a Golden Raspberry Award for worst actor in 1981, and its a pity that he did not receive it, but without his two-brain-cells acting this movie maybe would not be so great. As for the rest of the cast, we have Max von Sydow The Great playing Ming masterfully and bunch of pretty girls in various roles. So prepare yourself for the blast from the past: FLASH OOOOHHHOOOO.

PS You might wanna check out erotic parody Flesh Gordon from 1974 of the original flicks from thirties.

Director: Mike Hodges

Cast: Sam J. Jones, Melody Anderson, Max von Sydow, Ornella Muti, Timothy Dalton, Brian Blessed

http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0080745/