Zombie apocalypse is coming, but not the way you hoped it would cum. After successfully transforming vampires and werewolves  into pussies (anyone said Twilight?), the movie industry is trying to do same thing to zombies. You might say that we don’t know that yet, but the very fact that the the studio behind The Twilight Saga, Summit Entertainment, is backing the film should be sufficient. Based on a debut novel by Isaac Marion (this feels a bit suspicius) and directed by Jonathan Levine (50/50, The Wackness) Dear Zombie jesus, what are they doing to our favourite monsters. Granted, there’s Bride of Frankenstein and some exploration within the whole zombie genre with Shaun of the Dead, Fido and other movies, but Warm Bodies is so blatantly commercial and I believe doomed from the start. The Twilight Saga caught us off guard, but now it will be trickier to do such a thing, to quote Gandalf: You shall not pass!

The story is as moronic as it can be, after a zombie apocalypse the world is plunged into a familiar environment with zombies all over the place seeking human flesh. R is one of them, and upon feasting on a delicious brans of a suicidal teen he falls in love with her friend Julie. Somehow by eating the brains, zombies can take the memories stored in them, pretty innovative I must admit (and totally unrealistic, but then again we are still talking about zombies). So he rescues her from other zombies and somehow from this a romantic relationship forms between them. Yes, you read it a ROMANTIC relationship between a zombie and a human. Although R cannot talk, he somehow has emotions and can feel empathy.

I would like to explore this relationship, that has to be consummated at some point, so you can comfortably imagine zombies having sex. I guess his rotting, maggot infested body and lack of communication skills must be such a turn on that he is quite irresistible. The very mechanics of this endeavor are at least questionable. Can zombies achieve erection, can they maintain it and is their body firm enough to withstand sexual intercourse? Indeed these are the question that are puzzling us, and the consequences of such an act are also very interesting. Lets just skip over the moral questions and ponder upon the bacterial, maggoty infections that can occur (normal human necrophiliacs are having tons of problems with this), and not to mention the fact that she is at a constant danger of becoming a zombie. But, I guess thats love for ya.

I admit that there is a possibility that I am too close minded for this type of movie and plot, but for me the peak of  the zombie evolution was that moment in Land Of The Dead where Big Daddy slowly walks away from the fence… The release of the movie has been pushed from summer to February 2013, I guess they would stink up the theaters in the middle of the summer…

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